Lessons in Workplace Culture from Rod Stewart
The first cut is the deepest!
It’s true Rod Stewart said so.
In his music video for The First Cut Is The Deepest, Rod Stewart has to climb an endless set of stairs.
It quickly becomes obvious shooting the video, aaannndddd the loss of love, is weighing on him. You can see it in his pained face and his choice of horizontal and vertical stripes paired together.
Within just the first 40 seconds, you realize Rod doesn’t have one differentiated friend on the set, not one. If he did have a friend, they would’ve told him one side of his collar is down like his life is together, and the other side is up because of that damn first cut... it’s the deepest.
By the 2-minute mark, you can see his heart, lungs, and calves are aching… equally.
Where is he going? Why does he have to climb all of the stairs under emotional duress? After all, this isn’t the only time he’s been hurt. It’s just that the first cut was the deepest.
Rod seems to be emotionally unable to love again and physically unable to finish walking up those endless stairs.
The agony in this video is so deep even the videographers are rocked.
They won’t focus on Rod, probably because they feel embarassed about the collar and the combination of contrasting stripes.
They won’t focus on him climbing the stairs, most likely too afraid of the video shoot turning into an episode of reality TV if he has a heart attack.
Although… a heart attack would’ve reinforced just how deep that first cut was.
They won’t focus on the fountain because, well, why the hell is there a fountain in the shot? Just seeing that fountain felt like I was being subjected to some kind of social experiment. All I wanted was for someone to give poor Rod some water.
I mean, the man’s heart is broken. He’s incapable of having another meaningful relationship. He’s climbing a set of endless stairs, like one of those demonic workout machines at the gym made for people who dream of stairs that never end, aka the director of this music video.
He’s dehydrating right there in front of me. Dehydrating while wearing conflicting stripes, feathered hair, and a confused collar.
At the 3:27 mark of the song, he yelps, literally. I can only imagine is oncoming heat exhaustion. Listen to that sound. It sounds like the yelp of our older Aunt who thought she was still young and took us all to the amusement park at the peak of summer begging for 5 mintues in the shade.
After the yelp, Rod walks out of the screen. The camera zooms out, and we see the endless stairs empty of Rod and his deep, deep cut, you know, the first one.
Inside your left wondering, did God take Rod away? Did he fall over into the bushes and pass out?
How does Rod Stewarts music video from the 70’s warn us about unhealthy relationships and workplace culture?
Well, in a word, ENMESHMENT.
If you’ve ever wondered what the word enmeshment means, this song is a helpful resource.
Especially this part:
“I still want you by my side
just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
cause I'm sure gonna give you a try.”
The old non-committal committal, smooth move Rod.
Enmeshment is when I cannot hold healthy space for myself, between myself and someone else. When I can’t tell where another person ends, and I begin emotionally speaking.
And believe it or not, enmeshment isn’t just a romantic problem; it happens in the workplace.
There are such things as enmeshed organizations.
Unwritten rules and unspoken expectations.
Unrealistic idealized perceptions of themselves.
Different sets of rules for outsiders, insiders, and leaders.
Use the ideas of persecution as weapons to gaslight truth-tellers.
Oppose transparency, oversight, and questions.
Have specific people, problems, and/or ideas they deem as sacred.
Still, it can be hard to differentiate between enmeshment and healthy culture if you’ve never seen it.
Healthy culture in an organization will…
Clearly communicate rules and expectations and welcome questions.
Maintain a healthy self-perception through public accountability.
Use one rule book, rejecting secrets and unwritten rules.
Owns its contribution to problems and errors.
Invites transparency, oversight, and questions.
Holds no person, problem, or idea more sacred than the human being staring back at them.
Healthy people and healthy organizations are differentiated.
Differentiated means a person or organization can hold healthy space for people, problems, and ideas, navigate the complexities of varying perspectives, all without losing its individual identity.
No one sets out to have a dysfunctional organization or life, for that matter.
No one starts a business or non-profit in hopes of achieving colossal failure.
Like a lot of other things in life, enmeshment can sneak up on us.
It happens when we shortcut our way around the challenges of building a healthy organization. The cost of those shortcuts is the abuse of power and harmful illicit activity at worst; dysfunction and underachievement at best.
